and these being the main differences between men and women …

this is my life  
as i have observed it
over the years 
and certainly since nineteen eighty-eight

but other years also 
just as specifically as that 
succeeded in pointedly making it clear
that profound disagreements were near  

and that such observations 
and critiques of similar 
unsolicited advice were just never going 
to make anyone happy again my friends 

and so to the nub of the issue today:
women and men will always fight it out
like creatures of the dark
pretending to illuminate the sarcasm

they hurl like lightning rods 
of bitter resentments buried like poisons
remaining after war or radioactive conflicts
or something or other like that or this we see

but the main difference i can sense 
between women and men 
and ever so tense 
is that whilst men hurt and destroy you 

until nothing is left to breathe or retrieve 
women on the other hand 
always disappoint you 
because they choose to step back

from the final step of love 
that means that in some finer way
clearly unexplored 
their practical sides and rightful fears of disaster 

prevent them from ever making the final leap
which only the venturing across the abyss 
that leads to him and his 
would one day ever enable 

in some haunting and primitive way
when the final kiss of love and splendour 
that might even so
engender a truth of some far better sort 

and not a question of should or ought 
but much much more 
of tracing the lips 
that resisted the bliss 

for such a long time 
that even gorgeous rhymes 
failed to convince 
quite as easily as they could have

and so when two people like that 
who should easily have run the victory lap
over and over 
and over again 

finally may one day find themselves triaging deeply
like medics of the human condition 
the hidden joys and hesitations 
from other infirmities of that way-back-when ...

the time and day 
i say sincerely 
when we realised so utterly obvious
that love we felt with manifest truth

being a hug and a peck on the cheek of the other 
that evening 
where this in its slightness ends up meaning
more than nights of a thousand and one 

where nothing ever ends my love 
and nothing ever has to fend for its life again
because that is why 
precisely why

we invented wife of him 
and devised this thing 
we call husband of her 
and then ultimately freed of all gender notions

a fabulous and stronger potion 
on an ocean of calm
because what you and i bring to this world 
cannot be compared with anything anywhere 

that ever existed 
before or after 
we went and approached each other 
as part of that common humanity ... of us