intuition – mil's page

aside, definition, design philosophy, rationale

“On people called #melians who have no regrets”

In truth, whilst change IS inevitable — just as #siliconvalley and its dreadful hangers-on have universally, dogmatically and terrifyingly proclaimed for over half a century — its NATURE never automagically was. It’s just a fact, this: just a fact, too. For #bigtech is an only “half-the-story #tech”. And only ever has been.

Mil Williams, 27th April 2025, Arlanda Airport, Stockholm, Sweden,

It’s what I said a while ago.

There’s no courage involved in not feeling fear. And therefore no virtue whatsoever in being fearless.

There’s only virtue in doing something despite the need to overcome.

And one other thing I’ve learnt:

Not everyone should like you. If they did, you’d probably be doing something wrong.

Not wrong in itself. Wrong because in the first instance, in my experience, when you have an idea and are NOT stubborn enough not to have your course changed, it’s an error of crass proportions if and when you ultimately fail to persist in transforming the world, particularly when you ideas manifestly deserved to.

And sometimes, maybe often, we do fail to transform what’s around us with our thoughts and imagination precisely because, equally, we want to be liked: I mean, that is, that we tend to prefer to think not being liked is a sign we’re on the incorrect path.

But I now think the reverse. This is what I think. In two parts:

1. It’s always the bad guys who first see the dangers and implications — for them and their easy business models — of different and obstinately held ideas to their preferred future-present: the one they considered, out of their absolute sense of entitlement, absolutely theirs forever. Ideas like the ones, never necessarily originally but for sure always firmly, I’ve continued to propound over the years.

2. It’s always the good guys who last see the virtues and positives — for them and their terribly oppressed democratic communities — of different and obstinately held ideas to their assumed future-present: the one they were told was a result of inevitable change I mean, and absolutely NOT theirs forever.

In truth, whilst change IS inevitable — just as #siliconvalley and its dreadful hangers-on have universally, dogmatically and terrifyingly proclaimed for over half a century — its NATURE never automagically was. It’s just a fact, this: just a fact, too. For #bigtech is an only “half-the-story #tech”. And only ever has been.

This is why, when you want to deliver transformation, you have to accept you won’t be liked.

Firstly, the bad guys won’t ever do anything but hate you with their casually polite, practised and breezily easy business smiles.

And this will happen for perhaps the first five years.

And their goal is to break you, and make you stumble, and then dispirit you to the extent, perhaps, you kill yourself.

But then they have a problem. If they sense there will, after all, be a “next five years”, they realise the sword they wanted all that time for you to fall on no longer usefully, or at least reliably, exists.

So they will try to get closer to you and maybe even persuade you that all the while the smiles they sent your way with minimal financial breadcrumbs attached were actually, all the time in question, offerings of real dough.

And some of us out here give in at this point and take the money and run. And then the bad guys close down the ideas, and life continues to get worse for everyone else. Despite our ideas. Despite their coming originally into being. Despite what might have been.

The thing is … this is the thing. If you are stubborn … not original at all … just irreversibly firm in your preferred outcomes, even as fabulously flexible in your means and ways of getting there … well … you may end up concluding what I did when I got to the second and third and fourth and fifth “five years”: you only need to be liked by one group of people.

That’s all it ever takes.

Just one group is needed.

This group being?

The good guys who one day will realise that the #meliandialogue can be upturned: the islands of the world can beat — hands-down — the totalitarians.

Islands?

Places where we continue to understand that once in our histories we built fortresses in order to expand outwards with security and safety first and foremost. And that this was a good idea. And that this was the best idea. And that this is our next best step now.

And then we shall be … NOT #athens, ever … no. Not that. Not the #valley that causes so many tears. Never that. We never could be.

Rather, people called #melians who no longer shall have any regrets.

aside, definition, design philosophy, rationale

a jagged sleep

https://gb2earth.com/cl-bio | #intuitionvalidation #biotools and #bioweapons

jerking awake from slumber
instead of slowly 
arising to the day 

that's been my life 
under the violence and abuse 
of the people who used me

but now my jagged sleep
no longer makes me weep
because the move is latent 

and the changes are patent 
like parents of the child 
most wise and true 

and so when we actually 
finally get it all onboard 
it's democracy's sword 

to democracy's enemies 
we shall forge and fashion 
and make to break 

the abusers whose ruses 
and approaches of putins'
and cocaine-fuelled decisions 

have broken us all:
all this time we've been apart 
without soul or heart 

to be able to hope for better ways 
and days of dreams 
where the reams we write 

truly serve the purpose 
we were set on this rock 
to perform and act out 

like we knew already 
how to rout 
the monsters 

that assailed our dark nights
as we slept in confusion 
wounded by the clocks

where the sand ran out so fast
before our time it was:
yes it was it was it was ...

and so now it's all about this
and that 
and whatever it ain't too

because it's time we put behind us 
like rucksacks of the grandest explorers
the resentment that has separated 

you and me from him and them 
in order to just make it right 
with the might of ALL our intelligences 

and the perspicacities
of our clever cities and communities 
where the only thing that's left 

is to realise if human fire 
and that extreme and creative criminality 
battle us over and over 

the only solution can be 
more machines 
at the service of more humans 

not more humans 
at the service of more machines ...
for this is the rightful way 

where a sleep of a jagged 
raggedly bewitched humanity
brings us lastly 

to the senses we commonly lost 
all these years 
in utterly uncommon dazes

of months and weeks 
and seconds and minutes 
where the watch that was yours to be on

can now be the real solution 
of the nation's challenges 
instead of the real problem 

of the terrible occasion:
the 9/11s and then there's hamas
and its brutal strategic song

sounding out like twisted voice 
as gorging on the meats of hell
it sends us all to dwell on fears 

and hatreds to the very max
where sitting there 
omnipotent and forever 

all we can see 
is putin's russia 
with democracy targeted 

longitudinally and profoundly 
as if a torpedo to the waterlines 
of good fisherwomen and men 

striving to be something at last 
and never quite getting there 
as the hamas we know 

and the russia we battle 
and the 9/11 we obviated 
find that in ultimate outcome  

we may overcome 
in the name of a better world 
our tested natures and failures 

which all the above presupposed 
and now may lead to summits 
-- where not summats! -- 

of britain's best and europe's finest 
and to the united states 
of the most HONOURABLE of traditions  

just this and just that 
and just what we must do 
from now on in ... from now on in

a final gamble 
on absolutely everything 
that we care for in the professional for sure 

but in the personal too 
(where not the personal TWO ...
and then again maybe 

this can be you and me both) 
when the truth of it emerged once 
and now purposefully surges

for the benefit of all
and for the clarion call 
of a NATURAL justice 

and for just doing right 
via the mightiest of sights 
and the crosshairs 

of the blessed
and the rested 
and the rest of us SO yearning for the right 

in order to find some way of being human 
where all around us 
lie the untruthful of these wars

like whores of devilishly ancient rhymes 
and those times 
that dispense with our attempts 

to be good
as we ought 
and as we were taught too it's true

because it's all true it is 
what i say and proclaim yes it's true
so listen now 

and please do both as 
and how i want ...
do as and how i want and NEED 

and sometimes have had to plead it's also true
just do it yeah? 
and do it now ... and how!

aside, definition, design philosophy, rationale

on a human victory

https://gb2earth.com/research/newlean | https://newlean.org (ask me for the password if required — this is an ongoing project and developing whitepaper)

or what achievements really consist of

it's doing what you wanted 
but only hoped for
and maybe you wanted more than you hoped for
and maybe you expected deep down
the sound of total victory 
and anything else for a while seems like less 
and maybe even feels like a failure of the deepest of all
but in truth a total victory just ain't what humans are about 
when human is what we're about 
because a total anything 
is a pyrrhic everything  

and so i begin to warm to you finally 
and the idea that without writing a single line of code
i have convinced one of the biggest organisations in tech 
and those companies that work alongside them true  
that just my words and terms of english
have been enough to show how a new world 
exists right out there 
and that it's no longer on my part a failure of the worst 
in any shape whatsoever 
nor a loss of the least 
to propose that i might accept working with disruption of this nature
primarily because the culture of the big and the small 
in this case become us
as one and the same 
and the same and the one 
since both of us converging separately anon
have arrived at conclusions of parallel lines
where arguments cogently strung together 
on two-pagers of simple a4
eschewing as we do the fancy graphics 
of "say what you're going to say 
and then say it 
and then summarise it"
and where in fact the bullets pointedly hit 
the marks of zero innovation 
and even less invention
because to follow these paths so well-trodden --
so religiously i mean --
is to die a death of a thousand mutts 
as dog-days encroach and shroud our thinking

for it's time once again to move well on 
from the old old old man's valley 
where even the youngest entrepreneur
finds themselves trained up in the fuddy-duddy  
of the mere tweaking of tech 
so no one may rock the boats of existing portfolios 
nor business models galore (but actually hoary as hell)

because it's time the bells of brand new relationships
consecrated on firm and financially win/win terms 
begin to bring to the world 
the teams and reams  
of the gutenberg of intuitive thinking:

the printing-press of arationality 
changing the way we do technology much more easily 
and being as there's no better way to do this 
than working back from the customer always 
in combination with a new lean that reasons 
with care and compassion 
and rationales of the very best 
to the very VERY maximum 
HOW to extract the truths NO ONE says 
but EVERYONE knows full well
and all too well
and as well as the next
as we lie at night suffering the lies 
that tie the world up in knots 
and which have blotted our futures 
as they are held by their throats
gory and cruel as the fossil fuels they freely promote even now 
by those who care only for planets outside 
and little for the one we all grew up on --
and here i mean all of us 
and how i mean it's clearly seen 
and how it's been! -- because this IS it i say:
WELL time we found amongst the rich and poor
the course that aligns our interests both 
and so nothing better than a brand new process 
that unleashes our humanity as never before

and so i'm ready to see what's next
not as failure for another 
nor for me or them
nor total victory for me or another 
nor us as we might see ourselves 
nor even as the outputs of the lyricists of ancient harps 
as they start to sing again out loud and proudly 
but rather quite instead 
a victory of the grandest for a GOOD citizenry 
wishing to bring about a humanity of the brightest 
by simply enabling our gut feeling and intuitive ingenuities 
in ways we never imagined ever

this is what it is then this text i write 
as i send this poem to the people who know much better than me 
what's happening on the inside-out 
and how this will affect the outside-in
and so from me -- as this --
just as a missive 
of my final conformity 
and my capacity to embrace you now --
those of you 
who know (and how you do!) -- 
in my full cognisance
of the scientific and evidence-based realities 
which (burnished anew)
will renew and repair the horrors these warlike peoples 
have visited on the rest of us without qualms 
where to date only psalms are able for now 
to protect us with their prayers
and beseechings and readings 
of the sacred stones 
and the rites that serve strangely to right our wrongs ...

because whatever happens now 
the killing-field will be levelled
and new lean will become the tool we use --
shining as we will ... for sure! -- to release 
as we must and should 
and ought to and would have 
many many decades ago
if only we had cared to listen 
to the equally sacred understandings in tow
which we blithely ignored 
as stupidly tawdry attempts 
to go beyond making easy money 
and actually solving problems 
which weren't just making more money it's true 
in manners 
quite ill-mannered and foolish and unkind 
as we rewound to the past 
even as our tech is of now
and even as we chose firmly to screw the world 
for everything we could scrape 
and make ours 
to the exclusion of a legacy
we just DIDN'T want to make at all free
in any way whatsoever whatsoever 

and so now all this changes 
as i approach the companies
which working together 
in common cultural dissonance and rub
with different ideas yet common outcomes even so
and uncommon sensibilities in beautiful consonances 
for these are the resonances 
which enriching 
now demand we hand over to each other our destinies 
not as passive fates 
too late to the party to do anything wise 
but instead to a common goal 
that SHALL be that of rescuing our species 
from its long-term idiocies 
by tapping into that fabulous skillset and virtue 
present all this goddamn time:
the intuition of a humankind 
multiplied up a billion times and more 
being you and you and you and you
and me and her 
and thee and tree 
and us ALL seeing clearly anew 
as if never before ... 
... ever before:
THIS all being 
our shared future-present collective fate
awaiting us all from now on in 
and no longer too late to the party i mentioned
because that party is the citizenry we will fully reconstitute 
not as brutal future robots of silicon
but just sentient human beings 
achieving the total victories of me and you
no longer gone ...

https://open.spotify.com/track/2W6PNGCN4PGwPMf1jYazL4?si=qTYn168wSXWp-Z8v3GylfA&context=spotify%3Aplaylist%3A6S1UmnFR0ThrsO2lV82Moa

definition, design philosophy, rationale

but i do i make sense (in worlds of incense)

My latest #poem on #siliconvalley’s corrupting choices, plus a link to the new online #whitepaper on #newlean … and other observations …

i'm incensed to be honest 
and yet not:
no gorgeous odour drifts like a breeze
of glorious glees 
nor assails plentifully my senses 

but incensed i remain even so
at how rich people remain rich 
by plundering our brains
and attacking our better selves  
whilst all we had been asking for was this:

to be human to the max 
to enjoy being in the sack even 
with someone who hadn't met us online 
before we began face-to-face to vibe ...
... who hadn't had us sussed 

and hadn't trussed us up mentally 
so that they saw us way earlier 
than we ever saw them 
via that den of thievery
that is silicon valley since forever and all

because the real problem now 
is that surveillance to this max 
which we conduct on each other 
and use to blather and gossip about  
so that the outcomes 

become attempted suicides 
and depressions of the most revealing 
and the permanent anxieties 
of living a life 
as if it were a death on legs 

that's what big tech has brought us to 
and that's why i'm incensed as i am
and angry so very much 
that the human touch even that 
is now a monetisable gap 

that an elon and satya 
can invade and intrude with their choices 
to make the kind of technologies that hurt 
and be leaders of the worst 
instead of wanting to be peers of the first 

yes i am incensed in the western sense:
angry to the very maximum 
and it seems my words fall 
on barren grinds
of coffees never exchanged 

yet in a more eastern sense 
i smell your comprehension growing 
and see you showing 
an embrace approaching  
to my ideas of #intuitionvalidation 

and it's this incense i sense 
of the flowers and the astringent 
and the spices of natural inclinations
which i now turn to 
as i turn my back on the west i was born to

because it's here i find my pals of thought 
where nothing needs repeating 
and nothing needs reasserting 
and all is agreement and fulsome assent 
and that's what it's all about:

knowing how your place
is no longer where you are 
nor has ever been perhaps 
and maybe it's never been so 
and just time ... just time to go"

aside, definition

being that cruel cowardly mobbery [of family]

i met her one fateful day 
and it was to be the worst day of my life 
though i didn't know it at the time 
and then a bare twelve years later 
the idiocy repeated itself 
and i thought it was going to be better
and it wasn't oh it wasn't 
but it took me longer much longer 
to work out that one was as toxic as her mother 

two women of the worst there have ever been 
and both probably yes certainly 
as neurodiverse as myself too 
but not what they claimed the first was 
in her spymaster's cover 
of equally terrifying prognosis 
because what she was was never polar 
and never a pillar of anything close
to what one might term community at all at all 

black widows being what they both were 
and in fact still are for sure 
being women capable 
of widowing their menfolk whilst they're still alive 
and through their stratagems 
of cruel cunning always without the us 
just women who weaponise 
their every word and act 
against the fact that humans are just that 

because unforgiving is their first name 
and unforgivable their last 
where precisely both become the outcome 
of coming out as sharp and clear as any assassins  
and hateful like none in the history of humanity
and abusive as per the worst whores 
of political graft on those rafts of irish river
when the personnel that staff the offices
which back those who break into splinters

all the democratic instincts 
and all the technological fingerprints 
that could've saved us 
from the foolish hubris of the zuckerbergs 
of pornographic advert networks 
all connected and joined up
to the greater glory of the altmans of these days
where fucking with a human being's head 
is quite the right thing to do 

and so they think for sure
that daughter and mother i was writing about earlier 
that they have zero to do with THIS world 
now bleeding at both the seams 
and at the most unseemly 
of global violences
but actually these two women
as per many other humans 
have lived lives of absolute choice 

and are intimately at fault 
both and each 
for choosing an easier life such an easier one 
of material possessives 
like grammatical strictures of the most frightful 
that serve only to throttle change 
and make their beloved 
just rags and tags and sagging supports 
to be ripped into strips 

and then the intellectual regressives 
of smarmy logic and sophisticated sophistry 
which have led them quite separately 
to bottle that last moment and opportunity 
to demonstrate a real and healthy ambition
and aspiration too
for them and me and theirs 
and then us all together 
to prove that kin could be very much more 

than now it will ever be able to be 
or should indeed i say and verily repeat 
because in the "should" of all this 
we are haughtily saying how we never failed
when actually we did and forcefully have ...
and so when at the level of family 
unable to communicate savvily
how could we expect government 
to rule any better

or succeed where as individuals all these years 
we just preferred to choose and manifest our violence 
and then fuck each other up 
with purpose and intentionality 
as aggressive as the most violent criminality
because in truth 
that's been my experience 
of nuclear and extended family both:
kin as a synonym of ALL that's bad in the human experience  

and so i see it as it was 
and will now always be
and so i sense it's time to move away forever 
grateful that i am still way distant 
from a suicide my own family imposed on me
and worked so hard in order to direct me towards 
as if awarding me a solution 
that would've absolved them 
of all deep responsibility 

and which would have meant 
they would never have had to face the truth
of what still they are 
being that cruel cowardly mobbery
of people you grow up with 
thinking what they do to you
they do sincerely for you
when in reality 
they wanted you to die all along 

and so it ultimately comes to this
and for sure it does it does 
and so it ends down in the pit of time's pendulum 
hanging from figurative threads
as i tease out my next steps 
because they won't involve anyone 
from that which once 
we could have affectionately called fam
and which in no way ever meant kindness of any kind

and as the offers begin to present themselves
now i work really hard to expunge 
that which they said could not be expunged  
being the capacity that family 
and kin and sibling-hood 
and cousinly beings multiple
has to convince you they are right 
and you are wrong 
and when you feel uncomfortable 

the fault is all yours
and when they abuse and bully you 
it's you who's doing the bullying 
and you who's the abuser ...
because THAT'S the one undeniable achievement
of these two women 
throughout the mouldering tapestry of their lives 
and those family groupings which encroach on us 
never liberating ever 

and then all the cousins and uncles and fathers 
and mothers and aunts of creeping witness
being what they ALL bear witness to:
that kin-hood is a kind of jail of the very worst 
and perhaps at that 
a panopticon too
where a surveillance of the most total 
impresses on the brain born yet free 
the rusting bars of increasingly imprisoning deeds 

yes indeed it's true 
for whilst people and friends of choice 
are to be rejoiced and coveted 
and embraced and hugged 
and treasured and envied 
in ways that ennoble us to do the best of things 
family of the manner i have experienced 
is a curse of the worst and much much more
and is surely finally 

to be left irreversibly behind
when finally clearly proving 
that its equally irreversible unkindnesses 
will never revert to a forgiveness of redemption again 
nor to the spirits of generosity 
like ghostly figures capable of planing over us 
in those magical moments when i looked out
through the child's eyes
which i learnt EVERYTHING from 

with the newborn brain i was blessed with 
once upon a time 
for only then 
through the family i grew up alongside 
to discover how its innocence was to be ripped out 
like strips flaying off 
the thief's stinging back
as the blood of life still seeps and stains 
the human being i am now determined to fully recover 

wilfully leaving my past behind 
where the past is the only country 
it deserves to inhabit 
for cruel
for violent 
for abusive 
for manipulative and for bullying 
and for woman 
child and man gone intentionally wrong 

goodbye to you all 
and to you all
fare thee as well 
as you've never known in life 
how properly to deliver on 
nor how to forge or fashion 
even wryly
nor express through compassion 
never mind a truly felt passion:

yes i do i do i do
i wish you all luck 
as you continue to fuck 
with the heads of those 
who really 
by this time 
and way before
and long ago 
you should've learnt to love

aside

“this thing called xmas / that child of light”

My final #poem, this time on the occasion of #xmas itself …

Have a safe and good one if you can, and even if it’s not possible, believe in good in ways I never could … and therefore never did.

"this thing called xmas / that child of light" 

xmas time 
is rhyming slang
for longtime loves
and things so fine 

that rarely get 
an airing right 
and never mean 
we hold quite tight  

a loved one cool
and then again 
without some broken 
unvoiced when 

the meaning of it
all right once  
being fun and toys
and coloured bright

and such delights
of pleasured heights
and valleys and tales  
of snowed-in dales 

which so often mean
we miss the best 
and simply sense 
these memories of the rest 

but in truth what's real 
ain't what we live
but actually what 
we may one day relive

because facts and data 
really aren't the mater
of seeing what's real
about being good humans

and although we feel
when things unreel
that frames per second 
are where it's at

in fine reality
our deep humanity 
lies in what remains 
when the day does not 

and when in our darkest 
nights of all 
we reencounter 
what always befell

all people on earth
of goodly disposition 
whatever their faiths 
and even when 

they found themselves 
firmly up against 
the ideas that wrench
and sometimes wreak

like heavy teak 
or maybe oak 
of sad times historical 
stained as when

we then all awoke
to morning-time 
when all was cold 
and white and lined

with wrinkled cheek
and kisses brushed 
and lips that touched
and eyes that shone 

for it's not 
when we die
that everything is gone 
but simply this other time  

when none of us 
remember what it was like 
to be that child 
who loved the light ...

aside, definition, rationale

now comfortable WITHOUT others / the BOSUN’S pieces of infinity / no longer your necessary brother AT ALL

I’ve been thinking a lot this year about my life. I’m now 61: an age at which one of my two favourite writers one day took his own life. This being Hemingway.

I love Hemingway. He’s himself. Grace under pressure. Whatever the reasons. And grace under pressure was the way he wrote his prose. A pressured prose, and yet so graceful. Graceful despite the pressure, never because of it.

I’ve lived a life of similar pressures, though grace was rarely my discourse. Lately a tad more. And I’ve been wondering why this, too.

I spent many months, on and off, in Stockholm Sweden in 2023. I learnt a lot from a culture which my own — British — had never been able to accurately prepare me for. We have a lot to learn from the Swedish way. Really we do.

A tangible outcome was this site:

• sverige2.earth

I then went back to the UK for a longer period from August on, and so began to process all that learning.

More recently I created the following site as I looked to transfer Swedish ideas and concepts and ways of thinking into a British context:

• gb2earth.com

I took advantage of this impulse — and it took me a while to settle into it and feel safe enough to deliver on it — to also bring together a whole bunch of historical online whitepapers which audit my progress in the ideas I have had around intuition validation since at least 2016, but probably since my first university degree in the early 1980s when I had studied Film & Literature:

• gb2earth.com/truth/homepage

Part of the reason I began to feel the UK was starting to respect me — instead of wishing to do me harm — was because of a place called Storyhouse in the northwest English city of Chester: modelled I felt (and then had later confirmed) on the Stockholm Kulturhuset: one of my favourite places to be in the Swedish capital.

I felt safe enough in Storyhouse to be able to begin to want to reengage with my homeland really profoundly.

So.

All good thus far.

The final part of my life, and my thoughts around it this year, involves the increasing number of people in my close and wider family who are submitting to and getting successful assessments of differing kinds of neurodiverse ways of being.

In 2003 I was ridiculously diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic. I had already begun to suffer from epilepsy at the age of ten; though whilst living in Spain, and between the ages of 30 to 40, I was completely — and successfully — unmedicated for the condition.

Meantime, in that same decade and after my misdiagnosis, a member of my family was diagnosed with autism, level 1 — then called Asperger’s. On my Croatian side, such cases were already apparent. Then another relative was diagnosed with bipolar within a few years of my misdiagnosis. Honestly, I think hers was also a misdiagnosis.

From the 1960s onwards, one parent had suffered from clinical depression, whilst the other had experienced severe migraines and clear traits of autism/ADHD during their whole lifetime. More recently, this year in fact, two close members of my family have been positively assessed and medicated for ADHD, and yet another case of autism, level 1 has been uncovered.

A couple of members of this tribe I belong to now feel I should request a reassessment for ADHD, too. I’m in two minds. My original psychiatrist clearly made a mistake. After three years (ie, 2006 in my case) it became impossible to argue clinical negligence. I’d still be up for bringing a case of criminal conspiracy to court, but maybe I now have better things to do with my time. Either way, it’s pretty self-evident my family are brainy.

That’s how I now prefer to see myself: neither schizophrenic nor ADHD, nor autism nor anything else. Just brains in abundance.

What I am looking for now, after all these years of strife and denial, is the opportunity to put my brains properly to work in terms of my ideas re intuition validation, complex thinking, and in respect of being able to work on tools to deliver secrecy-positive thinking-spaces where an absolutely free thought can begin to enjoy its flight.

From a deep love of Hemingway and grace under pressure to secrecy-positive thinking. And a chance to stop the Putins of this world … forever.

Yeah?

And so to the poem that follows: it’s a visceral review of some of life’s most insoluble problems.

How complex and fractured family groupings come about when people refuse to ask for help; refuse for their whole lifetime to not believe it’s someone else who’s the problem.

Just what happens when the concept of the scapegoat as a narrative figure becomes the easiest tool in order to structure a network of individuals.

Just this.

Have a really safe Christmas … and the happiest New Year possible.

And do take care.

now comfortable WITHOUT others / the BOSUN’S pieces of infinity / no longer your necessary brother AT ALL

i spent my life 
as eldest of my family
being the glue 
that meant i wasn't as i could've been

i had to be 
for every sibling and cousin i had
the very best sounding-board 
they ever could have EVER had 

understanding in all respects
accepting all their holes of dark 
seeing as absolutely and utterly fair 
the roles i was assigned so stark

like lairs and dens
of the dragons and monsters 
some of them have been to me 
and you really wouldn't ever believe 

what i have actually seen
and what i have actually witnessed 
and suffered to the extent 
they intentionally drove me mad 

and so all this time 
i found it hard to do more than rhyme
in order to survive 
the cruelty of my 61 years 

visited on me 
and imposed on me 
and painted on me as if into a corner around
my every boundary and residual sound 

as never could i set my limits
and find in time the core i needed 
and just be me for me at all
and avoid the funeral pall 

of man and son 
and father and brother and lover and done
nailed brutally and abusively 
to the cross of quite another 

and so after all that 
it came to 2015  
and all i could do 
was scream silently to myself 

and everyone thought 
again he's going mad 
or maybe he's just bad 
and maybe that was it

when really what it was 
this thing i began to do
was realise that their VACUOUS holes 
like gruyère cheese

had prevented my mentioned core 
of apple-like pleas
ever forming contentedly
so that all i knew how to do 

all this time 
for 53 years of foolishness too
was to impale myself like stake to a soul
in such a way

that their very real madnesses 
appeared mine all that time

and maybe to this day 
most would still find it easy to say 
that what they did to me in 2003
as my whole family stood aside 

and let me suppurate 
as incarcerated foully 
by a state of extreme and vicious cruelty 
and how it did so 

and how it was so
neither good for them nor good for me
as no one ever let me be
neither in 2003 nor EVER since then 

and as my monstrous lover of 2004
then took me to her web 
of evil spidery claw
and the horrible things she then did and said 

as she treated me badly 
and without remission 
and did all those things to me
with zero permissions

i am reminded also 
of the techie folk 
who in 2002 in virtual sense
and right to this day in quite parallel way 

attacked me and my reputation it's true 
as they played their games 
with my achilles capacity for foolhardy hesitation 
for it's only the clever who ever wonder why

and only the foolish 
who can't find it in themselves 
to ever care more than a minimum expression  
for the lessons of an otherwise historical compassion 

and so then it's a fast-forward right to today 
and christmas 2023 does approach in its way 
and so now my son is adhd 
and then a sibling that other thing they say

and my parents both undiagnosed but surely it was true 
and my younger relations both clearly that and good
and even two others  
who claim to be hyper-sensitive

when really all they acted out 
was a fearsome them of brutal cold fish 
for all their multiple decades and years ...
and so we do come finally to the VERY first 

being me two decades before the worst 
when getting a diagnosis unbidden and unasked for 
and one of utterly beastly yore
as i was assigned a violent assessment

of a ridiculously inexact psychosis 
when if all the above
had come fairly to light first of all
then first i wouldn't have been without my core

and second the family 
both sibling and parental
and so wider and much more 
wouldn't have fucked me about

as they allowed me to die struggling on my feet 
drugged to the eyeballs 
by a country caring only to treat 
a clever man like myself 

as if i were an elf to be tossed baldly aside 
like evil mischief 
far and wide 
because dear cousins 

and siblings 
and children 
and wife and my life 
that's what you did to the man i should've been

whilst once i defended you all 
as i tried desperately 
to be that thing you all needed me to be 
when in truth the problem wasn't EVER me 

but people JUST LIKE YOU
who needed far more support 
than i ever would 
being far more support than a crutch to a cripple 

and so as we come close to 2024
i realise with joy in no way a trickle 
that i need care for none of you any more at all
because what was broken 

and splintered 
and hurt
was not my job you see
to make complete in the end even then 

because i was far less damaged all that time 
than you and yours and those you claimed were mine 
and i was far LESS incomplete 
and far less unseated

and far less nailed 
to that cross i mentioned before 

when talking of awful loss 
and the cost of not talking 
to each other as we might've done
and the idiocy of hiding 

behind the unassessed
and never embracing 
what actually you all were 
in respect of something that could have been 

a completely beautiful diversity 
to treasure and measure 
against all other benchmarks 
where humans do hark to a GORGEOUS eternity 

and so this is where i now 
found myself at last
with no right at all 
to cast any stones 

yet equally no duty remaining 
to ever help out 
anyone insane enough 
to want to stay 

as a member of this sad sad tribe
incapable of realising any of you in time 
that the very reasons 
you refused to defend me

were precisely the reasons why
you should've protected me
and precisely why no longer 
there's any point in my trying 

to work with and for 
absolutely any of you
in health and sickness 
or any condition left to me

nor in any kind of frame   
where being together
could've been a worthy test 
of a humanity hugged close 

to a seafaring bosun
of chests of mysterious 
pieces of infinity 
where once upon a time 

it was me that was seen 
to be the really crazed guy 
when it truth 
it's me who finds himself now catapulted 

into a place of truthfully righteous change
because family for me 
now irreversibly wanes 
as we all become 

as diverse as each other
thus meaning right on 
i am finally released
from ever being again your necessary brother

aside, definition, design philosophy, rationale

on being a FEARless CITIZEN / the dreams of those who dream the unreal / all i want this christmas

when you teach 
and reach out 
and don't preach but do advocate 
these certain ways that are different 
from all the differences everyone else sees
and accepts 
and may reject or not  
then i am not you 
and you are not me 

because what i am looking to do 
is change the "you and me"
we have been so far 
in humanity's historical charter 
of what is good 
and what is not:
i'm not prepared to settle any more 
for a relativism of core 
that destroys our capacity 
to construct good and bad 
in the measure they had 
once upon a crime 
and in rhyming couplets
that mean something deeper 
than a ditty of shitty superficial resonances 

i aspire to much more you see
because i believe 
we humans are built out of cruelty 
and good
depending on where we are stood 
and the challenge for me now
(and how it is 
this challenge i see 
how it is for sure)
is to make it possible 
for not just an individual 
to progress mighty and fine 
across the timeline of their person
but for the generations too
that they make up and inhabit true ...
... well ... that finally 
they may not need to reset 
and just about almost always reboot
what we know from one to the next 

because if the driver of humanity's improvement 
really is only ever 
the nonconformism of intelligent individual
where corporate-style teamworks serve simply  
to only implement and make real 
the dreams of those who dream the unreal
we need far more dreamers of the unreal
than we currently have 
if we are to survive and thrive 
quite outwith ourselves one day 
when FEARful prayer would no longer be needed 
to deities sometimes just 
and in equal measure as cruel as gruel 
at least in the "sometimes"
that history has loosened upon us 

and so all i want for christmas 
is just the sense 
that together
you and me
me and cee
(out of a love of the most real
even where not expressed ever 
for whatever the circumstances 
which present themselves 
as a present that is current 
as well as wrapped up 
like no gift ever given) 
we might just soon enough 
be tough enough 
to bring enough truth 
and compassion and firm resilience 
to the science 
of building the FEARless CITIZEN

because me and you
that's what we are
and what we've been
all these years 
they knocked us back 
like into a sack where good guys are tumbled 
by the really really bad
and dumped into waterless wells
(like we were rocks that don't ever get to)
and some these guys and sometimes gals
do no good 
but only stuff the neighbourhoods 
with more and more legitimated mafias 
of nearby cities and then again 
way beyond 

so it's now time we put a stop to it all my love:
time we said enough is enough 
and then did in consequential act 
what was needed and always has been
and that the rough guys 
who were never tough
but just cowards
and only apparently hard 
when possessed of the full knowledge 
no one could properly stop them ever 
nor stop their awful cruelty 
born of power's abuse and total misuse 
as they winged our beautiful civilisations 
over and over again 
like icaruses 
of a sun which should only have embraced
and instead was laced with poisons galore
by the criminals of yore
but also the mafias of RIGHT NOW

time i say
to make love where we can 
and as women and men
and genders-all
we make these calls to love as practised 
where humans communicate 
with fabulous exes 
that become the kisses 
which seal the real human deal ...

... and then when we meet people
who care not at all for all this 
it's time we became as firm as hell
and gave them bottles of their own medications 
as we salvage the reputations 
of every civilisation of good good hood 
into a future-present 
of neighbour "should"
and "want"
and "wish" being the most at this time of year
anyone has the right
to see delivered and given and handed over 
and no longer feared
no longer feared 
no longer feared ... at all


a world where it suddenly becomes
possible and practical
to rebuild
once more
the FEARless CITIZEN

aside

BECAUSE it’s time to die

when you wind down you refresh 
unless it's time to die
and when you take a moment out 
to space your time 
like laces of much nicer whiles past 
you realise the hurt is real indeed it is

and still you keep on for a while 
unless it's time to die
in which case winding down 
ain't winding at all
but more a case of being WOUNDED full
NOT winding down in any way

and so that time arrives in ten days for me
BECAUSE it's time to die 
being away from all and solo now 
i care much more for me 
than all the pain people from my past 
not deserting me ... if ONLY I say ...

have led me to feel in the name of truth 
because for me that IS the only way
because i care nothing absolutely nothing
for lies or half-lies at all
nor for ameliorations tall and idiot proud
and foolishly boasting and toasting to the skies 

just the unvarnished and unburnished
heavy flames of death's starry capacity ... 
that's what i mean
and that's what i'm talking about now 
and that's what i want to communicate 
and that's all there is i can do any more 

and so since i've seen flames all my life 
licking at my happiness 
and burning its edge
now it's time to lace 
as with poisons of yore 
my life with its curious cherries on top

the cherries of final sleep 
and of deep seeping slumber 
like a bear hibernating 
in dark and freezing winter 
in a way that he expected to rise again soon
but for whom spring no longer will now exist

definition, design philosophy, rationale

on a blended approach to #totalsurveillance

background

i read a meme a while back which said:

it takes ten years ramming a new idea down people’s throats for them to get it.

i started what would become the #intuitionvalidationengine back when a discovery interview with a #liverpool university. in the middle of this interview i came up with the phrase #industrialisationoforiginalthought. i didn’t know, then, the roots of this occurrence.

i do know now.

my first university qualification, of the three i now have, was a ba hons in film & literature, back in the early 1980s. i realised a few years ago now that this was the very source of my thinking around #intuitionvalidation.

film, until #generativeai, was an example of how, despite the temptations, movie technologists chose to make a tech that enhanced and expanded human beings, rather than diminished and automated them out of relevance.

the microphone made the voice more powerful; the camera, the eye more beady-eyed; the film language of close-up and long-shot making the actor able to express their feelings with more impact; and even the stage and a wider mise-en-scene serving to extend the ability for great actors to deepen their expressiveness using the surroundings designed specifically around them.

that, then, all a clear example of the #industrialisationoforiginalthought.

and with that, a direct precursor to the #intuitionvalidationengine, and what then became #platformgenesis:

• gb2earth.com/tools | gb2earth.com/pgtps

if we take 2016 as my baseline of these later ideas, though not where the ideas originally connect back to, of these ten years i allude us to, ramming a new idea down everyone’s throats, i’m in year 8 of the aforementioned decade.

what next …

i’d like now to make something firmly tangible of all this.

and this, for two reasons and two reasons only:

1. under the current #totalsurveillance philosophies, 9/11, putin’s russia, and hamas all flourished. i’m not saying those who promoted these solutions, where machines have humans as extensions of their processes and procedures, wilfully ignored an alternative i’ve been proposing for a number of years now: that is, humans with machines as extensions of themselves. but if it does continue to be rejected, the ignoring of them does become wilful:

2. the second reason is more personal. i’d like to think that some good people at the highest levels of #tech begin to recognise that perhaps everyone — all of us, that is, without exception — should have considered other options sooner.

9/11 was a horrendous event we considered absolutely singular and, thankfully, unrepeatable.

but then came along the utterly illegitimate invasion of ukraine by putin’s russia, where we still even today — some of us, that is — choose to see him as a man who stumbles into one misadventure after another. only this isn’t true at all. he’s a horrible nonconformist whose awful capacity to think out of the box is left untouched by our machine-driven teams and ways of working.

and so, finally, 9/11 does repeat after all. with, you can’t say no, hamas’s dreadful attack on israeli and palestinian people, both. and under the very same philosophy of #totalsurveillance which didn’t succeed as it could’ve done the first two times round either.

my ask

so what do i say? what do i want? what can i get reasonably from you?

what can we all, ultimately, achieve together?

it’s not #totalsurveillance that’s the problem: it’s a #totalsurveillance which upscales exclusively machines over humans for every security, law-enforcement, and espionage process ever.

it’s the philosophy and implementation, not the need or the instinct to protect and defend absolutely: because the latter is absolutely spot-on. meantime, 9/11, ukraine, and now hamas surely question the former in ways we never cared to in the past twenty years.

this is why i am now looking proactively and openly for a powerful and paradigm-upturning partner who can provide the runway to get this blended approach to #totalsurveillance all underway: an approach which i have proposed with so many challenges to my own person all along.

and the aim of these ideas?

simple, tbh.

no more 9/11s, invasions like that of ukraine, or attacks like that of hamas on israeli and palestinian peoples both.

i want to save us all from future pain.

that is the gain i most want out of my legacy.

that is what i want my ideas around #totalsurveillance to begin to deliver: a more secure world which feels, also, so much safer …